Neuro Linguistic Programming

Introduction

Part I: Introducing NLP

Chapter 1: Getting to Know NLP

Chapter 2: Some Basic Assumptions of NLP

Chapter 3: Discovering Who’s Directing Your Life

Chapter 4: Taking Charge of Your Life

Part II: Winning Friends and Influencing People

Chapter 5: Pushing the Communication Buttons

Chapter 6: Seeing, Hearing, and Feeling Your Way to Better Communication

Chapter 7: Creating Rapport

Chapter 8: Understanding to Be Understood: Meta Programs

Part III: Opening the Toolkit

Chapter 9: Dropping Anchors

Chapter 10: Sliding the Controls of Your Experience................................................

Chapter 11: Working with the Logical Levels

Chapter 12: Driving Habits: Uncovering Your Secret Programs

Chapter 13: Travelling in Time to Improve Your Life................................................

Chapter 14: Smooth Running Below Decks

Part IV: Using Words to Entrance

Chapter 15: Getting to the Heart of the Matter: The Meta Model

Chapter 16: Hypnotising Your Audience
- Fables, and Metaphors Chapter 17: Telling Tales to Reach the Unconscious: Stories,

Chapter 18: Asking the Right Questions

Part V: Integrating Your Learning

Chapter 19: Dipping into Modelling

Chapter 20: Making Change Easier

Part VI: The Part of Tens

Chapter 21: Ten Applications of NLP

Chapter 22: Ten Books to Add to Your Library

Chapter 23: Ten Online NLP Resources

Chapter 24: Ten Films That Include NLP Processes

Part VII: Appendixes

Appendix A: Resource List

Appendix B: Rapport Building

Appendix C: The Well-Formed Outcome Checklist

Index

Introduction Table of Contents

About This Book

Conventions Used in This Book

What You’re Not to Read

Foolish Assumptions

How This Book Is Organised
- Part I: Introducing NLP
- Part II: Winning Friends and Infl uencing People
- Part III: Opening the Toolkit
- Part IV: Using Words to Entrance
- Part V: Integrating Your Learning
- Part VI: The Part of Tens
- Part VII: Appendixes

Icons Used in This Book

Where to Go From Here

Part I: Introducing NLP

Chapter 1: Getting to Know NLP.
- Introducing NLP
  - A few quick defi nitions
  - Where NLP started and where it’s going
  - A note on integrity
- Encountering the Pillars of NLP: Straight Up and Straightforward
- Discovering Models and Modelling
  - Employing the NLP communication model
  - Modelling excellence
- Using NLP to Greater Effect
  - Understanding that attitude comes fi rst
  - Being curious and confused are good for you
  - Changing is up to you
  - Having fun on the way!

Chapter 2: Some Basic Assumptions of NLP.
- Introducing NLP Presuppositions
  - The map is not the territory
  - People respond according to their map of the world
  - There is no failure, only feedback
  - The meaning of the communication is the response it elicits
  - If what you’re doing isn’t working, do something different
  - You can’t not communicate
    - desired outcomes Individuals have all the resources they need to achieve their
    - Every behaviour has a positive intent
    - People are much more than their behaviour
    - The mind and body are interlinked and affect each other
    - Having choice is better than not having choice
    - Modelling successful performance leads to excellence
- Final Words on Presuppositions: Suck Them and See

Chapter 3: Discovering Who’s Directing Your Life.
- Grasping How Your Fears Can Drive You in the Wrong Direction
  - Distinguishing between conscious and unconscious
  - Understanding your quirky unconscious mind
- Tracking Information: Your Reticular Activating System
- Examining How Memories Are Created
  - Encountering post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
  - Handling phobias
  - Employing the NLP Fast Phobia Cure................................................
- Accepting That Beliefs and Values Make a Difference
  - Getting to grips with the power of beliefs
  - Working with your values
- Daydreaming Your Future Reality

Chapter 4: Taking Charge of Your Life.
- Taking Control of Your Memory
- You See It Because You Believe It
  - Focusing on blaming others
  - Getting stuck in a problem frame
  - Shifting into the outcome frame
- The Path to Excellence
  - Knowing what you want
  - Becoming smarter than SMART: Creating well-formed outcomes
- The Four-Point Formula for Success
- Spinning the Wheel of Life
- Keeping a Dream Diary of Your Goals
- Just Go for It

Part II: Winning Friends and Influencing People

Chapter 5: Pushing the Communication Buttons.
- Introducing the NLP Communication Model
  - Scenario 1..............................................................................................
  - Scenario 2..............................................................................................

Understanding the Process of Communication Table of Contents xiii
- Processing pieces of information
- Getting to grips with individual responses

Giving Effective Communication a Try

Communication. Chapter 6: Seeing, Hearing, and Feeling Your Way to Better

Getting to Grips with the Senses
- Filtering reality
- Hearing how people are thinking

Listening to the World of Words
- Building rapport through words
- Bringing on the translators

Acknowledging the Importance of the Eyes

Making the VAK System Work for You

Chapter 7: Creating Rapport.

Knowing Why Rapport Is Important
- Recognising rapport when you see it
- Identifying people with whom you want to build rapport............

Having Basic Techniques for Building Rapport
- Sharpening your rapport with eight quick tips
- Viewing the communication wheel and developing rapport
- Matching and mirroring
- Pacing to lead other people successfully
- Building rapport in virtual communication

Knowing How to Break Rapport and Why You May Want To
- Discovering how to break rapport sensitively
- Grasping the power of the word ‘but’

Understanding Other Points of View
- Exploring perceptual positions
- Looking into the NLP meta-mirror

Chapter 8: Understanding to Be Understood: Meta Programs.

Getting to Grips with Meta-Program Basics
- Looking at meta programs and language patterns
- Exploring meta programs and behaviour

Being Proactive/Reactive

Moving Towards/Away From

Discovering Options/Procedures

Delving Into the Internal/External

Going Global or Detailed

Recognising Sameness, Sameness with Difference, and Difference

Tackling Time Perspectives

Combining Meta Programs

Developing Your Meta-Program Skills

Part III: Opening the Toolkit xiv Neuro-linguistic Programming For Dummies, 2nd Edition

Chapter 9: Dropping Anchors.
- Starting Out With NLP Anchors
  - Setting an anchor and building yourself a resourceful state
  - Eliciting and calibrating states
  - Developing your own repertoire of anchors
  - Recognising your own anchors
- Going Through the Emotions: Sequencing States
  - Altering states with anchors
  - Getting with the baroque beat
  - Walking in someone else’s shoes
- Becoming Sophisticated with Anchors
  - Changing negative anchors
  - Deploying stage anchors
- A Final Point About Anchors

Chapter 10: Sliding the Controls of Your Experience.
- Recording Your Experiences with Your Submodalities
- Grasping the Basic Info: What You Need to Know Before You Begin
  - Associating or dissociating...............................................................
  - Defi ning the details of your memories
  - Getting a little practice
- Understanding Your Critical Submodalities
- Making Real-Life Changes
  - Removing the pain from an experience
  - Changing a limiting belief..................................................................
  - Creating an empowering belief
  - Getting rid of that backache
  - Using the swish
- Submodalities Worksheet

Chapter 11: Working with the Logical Levels.
- Understanding Logical Levels
  - Asking the right questions
  - Taking logical levels step-by-step
  - Employing practical uses for logical levels
- Finding the Right Lever for Change
  - Environment
  - Behaviour
  - Capabilities and skills
  - Beliefs and values
  - Identity
  - Purpose

Figuring Out Other People’s Levels: Language and Logical Levels Table of Contents xv

Teambuilding at Work and Play: A Logical Levels Exercise

Chapter 12: Driving Habits: Uncovering Your Secret Programs.

The Evolution of Strategies
- The S–R model
- The TOTE model
- The NLP strategy = TOTE + modalities
- The NLP strategy model in action

The Eyes Have It: Recognising Another’s Strategy

Flexing Your Strategy Muscles
- Acquiring new capabilities
- Recoding your programs
- Grasping the importance of the ‘how’

Using NLP Strategies for Love and Success
- Loving the deep love strategy
- Infl uencing people with strategies
- Spelling out the NLP spelling strategy

Chapter 13: Travelling in Time to Improve Your Life.

Understanding How Your Memories Are Organised

Discovering Your Time Line

Changing Your Time Line

Travelling Along Your Time Line to a Happier You
- Releasing negative emotions and limiting decisions.....................
- Finding forgiveness
- Comforting the younger you
- Getting rid of anxiety
- Creating a better future

Chapter 14: Smooth Running below Decks.

Getting to Grips with a Hierarchy of Confl ict

Drifting from Wholeness to Parts
- Understanding a part’s intentions
- Getting to the heart of the problem

Help! I’m in Confl ict with Myself
- Listening to your unconscious mind
- Taking sides

Becoming Whole: Integrating Your Parts
- Trying the visual squash technique
- Reframing – as if

Resolving Bigger Confl icts

Part IV: Using Words to Entrance xvi Neuro-linguistic Programming For Dummies, 2nd Edition

Chapter 15: Getting to the Heart of the Matter: The Meta Model.
- Gathering Specifi c Information with the Meta Model
  - Deletion – you’re so vague
  - Generalisation – beware the always, musts, and shoulds
  - Distortion – that touch of imagination
- Using the Meta Model
  - Taking two simple steps
  - Remembering a few caveats

Chapter 16: Hypnotising Your Audience.
- Discovering the Language of Trance – the Milton Model
  - Comparing language patterns and the Milton Model
  - Meeting other aspects of the Milton Model
  - Finding your own preferred model
  - Understanding the art of vagueness and why it’s important
- Going Deeper into Hypnosis
  - Getting comfortable with the idea of hypnosis
  - Experiencing everyday trances

Stories, Fables, and Metaphors. Chapter 17: Telling Tales to Reach the Unconscious:
- Processing Stories and Metaphors
- Understanding the Stories of Your Life
  - Getting to grips with storytelling basics
  - Working on your storytelling
  - Passing on a gift to the next generation
- Grasping the Power of Metaphors
  - Using metaphors in NLP
  - Applying metaphors to fi nd new solutions
  - Employing direct and indirect metaphors......................................
- Building Your Own Stories
  - Using the Personal Story Builder Journal
  - Discovering more ways to fl ex your storytelling muscles
  - Adding loops to your story: And this reminds me of.

Chapter 18: Asking the Right Questions.
- Question-Asking Tips and Strategies
  - Cleaning up your language: Removing bias
  - Recognising that the way you behave is what counts
  - Pressing the pause button
  - Testing your questions
  - Making positive statements the norm
- Figuring Out What You Want Table of Contents xvii
  - What do I want?
  - What’s that going to do for me?
- Asking Questions to Help Make Decisions
- Challenging Limiting Beliefs
- Finding the Right Person for the Job: A Question of Motivation
  - What do you want in your work?
  - Why is that important?......................................................................
  - How do you know that you’ve done a good job?
  - Why did you choose your current work?
- Checking In with Yourself

Part V: Integrating Your Learning

Chapter 19: Dipping into Modelling.
- Developing New Skills through Modelling
  - Modelling is a natural human talent
  - Getting to a deeper structure
- Discovering Modelling Case Studies
  - The Reluctant Exemplar
  - The Rainmaker’s Dance.....................................................................
- Key Stages in Modelling
  - Knowing your modelling outcome
  - Identifying your exemplar
  - Finding a modelling method you can work with
  - Gathering your data
  - Building your model
  - Testing the prototype
  - Refi ning for simplicity

Chapter 20: Making Change Easier.
- Finding Clarity and Direction
- Understanding the Structure of Change
  - The Kübler-Ross Grief Cycle
  - NLP logical levels
- Holding On to Values
- Grasping the Importance of Clear Communication
- Creating the Mindset for Change
  - Letting go of fear
  - Being willing to experiment
- Getting Help on the Way
  - Strengthening resources
  - Future pacing
  - Planning the road map
- Taking One Step Forward xviii Neuro-linguistic Programming For Dummies, 2nd Edition
  - Making that initial move
  - Celebrating and closure

Part VI: The Part of Tens

Chapter 21: Ten Applications of NLP.
- Developing Yourself
- Managing Your Personal and Professional Relationships
- Negotiating a Win–Win Solution
- Meeting Those Sales Targets
- Creating Powerful Presentations
- Managing Your Time and Precious Resources
- Being Coached to Success
- Using NLP to Support Your Health
- Connecting to Your Audience: Advice for Trainers and Educators
- Getting the Best Job for You

Chapter 22: Ten Books to Add to Your Library.
- Changing Belief Systems with NLP
- The User’s Manual for the Brain
- Core Transformation
- Frogs into Princes
- Infl uencing with Integrity
- Manage Yourself, Manage Your Life
- Persuasion Skills Black Book
- Presenting Magically
- The Magic of Metaphor
- Wordweaving: The Science of Suggestion

Chapter 23: Ten Online NLP Resources.
- Anchor Point
- Association for Neuro-Linguistic Programming (ANLP)
- Clean Language
- Crown House Publishing
- Encyclopedia of Systemic NLP and NLP New Coding
- John Grinder
- Michael Gelb
- Richard Bandler
- Shelle Rose Charvet
- The International Society of Neuro-Semantics

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