Chapter 2
Chapter 2: Some Basic Assumptions of NLP
In This Chapter
▶ Understanding the presuppositions of NLP
▶ Testing the NLP presuppositions
▶ Walking in someone else’s shoes
▶ Developing flexibility to take full responsibility in any interaction
B
renda has a much loved, only daughter, Mary. By the age of ten, Mary
was a little spoiled because she arrived after Brenda and her husband
had given up hope of ever having a child. Mary was prone to throwing tan-
trums the likes of which you’re extremely fortunate not to experience. Mary
thrashed about on the floor, screaming and flailing her arms and legs.Brenda made no progress with Mary’s tantrums until one day, when Mary
was on the floor exercising her lungs with total abandonment, the long-
suffering Brenda took some metal pans out of a cupboard and joined Mary
on the floor. Brenda banged the pots on the wooden floor and kicked and
screamed even better and louder than Mary. Guess what? Mary lay still in
stunned astonishment, staring at her mother. She decided there and then that
her mother was the more expert ‘tantrummer’ and that she would lose the
tantrum contest every time. She realised that pursuing this particular course
of action was futile and the tantrums stopped from that moment. Brenda took
control of her interaction with Mary by displaying the greater flexibility of
behaviour.This little anecdote illustrates that ‘the person with the most flexibility in
a system influences the system’. This statement isn’t the result of some
experiment conducted in a laboratory. Instead, it’s an NLP presupposition (or
assumption), which, if practised and adopted, can help to ease your journey
through life. Brenda’s story illustrates just one of several presuppositions –
also called convenient beliefs – which form the basis of NLP.