Chapter 4: Taking Charge of Your Life 63
- Does the goal identify the necessary resources?
- Have I evaluated whether the goal is ecological?
- Does the goal identify the first step I need to take?
The following sections we explain these points in more detail.Is the goal stated in the positive?
What do you want? Or, to put it another way, what would you rather have?These questions help clarify your desired outcome, because you must
know very clearly what you want in order to maintain focus and direction.
Vague goals like ‘I want to be thinner’ or ‘I want more money’ are insufficient
because you’re then satisfied by being a pound lighter or finding a £5 note on
the pavement.Better goals are ‘I want to weigh 12 stone’ or ‘I want £1,000 in my bank
account’ or ‘I want a gross salary of £50,000 per annum’. Also, having nega-
tive goals like ‘I don’t want to stay in this job’ can adversely affect your
desires (see the later sidebar ‘Dwelling on the negative can damage your
health’). Therefore, when you find yourself saying ‘I don’t want.. .’, ask your-
self instead ‘What do I want?’Is the goal self-initiated, maintained, and within my control?
So often we hear of a person wanting to give up smoking who, when ques-
tioned, replies: ‘My wife wants me to stop.’ A person has a far better chance
of succeeding if the drive to attain a particular outcome comes from within,
for example: ‘I want to enjoy a long and healthy life – for me.’ In contrast,
if your goal is ‘I want my partner to take me away for two weeks in the sun
during March,’ you need to recognise that your partner may have a different
agenda and this goal is therefore not under your control.Ask yourself these questions:✓ Am I doing this for myself or someone else?
✓ Does the outcome rely solely on me?
When Kate ran a marketing consultancy, she realised that several projects
involved working closely with corporate business clients who were extremely
stressed, very busy, and disorganised. She was spending long meetings sitting
with clients at their chaotic desks while they made phone calls or gathered
together the project information while she waited.