Neuro Linguistic Programming

Part II: Winning Friends and Influencing People

Do bear in mind that in this chapter we’re giving you a general overview of

how people’s filters affect the messages they receive. We explore this aspect

in more detail in other chapters: for example, Chapter 8 describes the meta

programs that you run and Chapter 15 tells you more about the deletions,

distortions, and generalisations that we introduce in this chapter.

What you intend to communicate isn’t necessarily the message that the recipi-

ent understands.

Introducing the NLP Communication Model

The NLP communication model is based on cognitive psychology and was

developed by Richard Bandler and John Grinder.

According to the NLP communication model, when people behave in a certain

way (their external behaviour), a chain reaction is set up within you (your

internal response), which in turn causes you to respond in some way (your

external behaviour), which then creates a chain reaction within the other

person (their internal response), and the cycle continues. Figure 5-1 shows this

chain reaction.

Figure 5-1:
The circle of
communica-
tion.

Internal

Response

External

Behaviour

External

Behaviour

Internal

Response

The internal response is made up of an internal process (consisting of

self-talk, pictures, and sounds) and an internal state (the feelings that are

experienced).