Sex, Unhealthy Romantic Relationships, and Good-byes 101
SEX AND EMOTIONAL RISKS
While the physical risks of sex (pregnancy and STDs) are easy to pinpoint, the
emotional risks aren’t. Why? Because people respond to situations differently.
Something that may be exciting to one person may be frightening to another,
and what may be emotionally devastating for you may be “no big deal” for
someone else. You simply can’t predict how you’re going to feel. Beforeyou find
yourself in a romantic situation with things careening out of control, think
through all the possible consequences carefully.
If you become sexually active before you’re ready, you may feel over-
whelmed and confused by the feelings that go along with this type of intimacy.
This is especially true if you can’t talk freely to your sexual partner about what’s
going on between you, how you feel about each other, what you’re doing, and
what the relationship means to you.
Sexual activities, especiallysexual intercourse, leave people emotionally vul-
nerable. During sex, people tend to be less guarded with their feelings, which
allows them to be very close to each other. Ideally, that closeness extends into
the rest of the relationship. Until you’ve experienced this kind of closeness with
another person, you can’t really understand it, except to know that it can be very
wonderful—provided you and your partner totally trust and respect each other.
When you don’ttrust each other or don’t know each other well enough to feel
deeply respected, being intimate can leave you feeling hurt, betrayed, and alone.
If you and your boyfriend/girlfriend aren’t sexually active but are consider-
ing it, have a conversation about it before you find yourself in the “heat of the
moment.” For many teens (and adults, too), it’s almost easier to have sex than
to talk about having it. Unfortunately, many people get physical before they’re
emotionally ready. For this reason and many others, it’s also smart to talk with
an adult you trust about the choice you’re facing.
Before you decide what to do about sex, you also need to talk to another
person—yourself. Youare the person who has to live with the consequences of
your decisions, so be clear about what’s right (and wrong) for you. Ask yourself
these questions:
- Knowing there are huge physical and emotional risks involved,
why am I thinking of having sex?