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102 The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating
- How do I think sex will change my relationship? Do I think it will
make us love each other more? Why? Do I think it will make the
relationship last longer? Why? Do I think we’ll have more respect
for each other? Are my expectations realistic? Why or why not? - Is having sex consistent with my values (the “right” or “wrong”
choices for me)? - Is my choice to have sex consistent with my parents’ values? If they
find out, how will it affect my relationship with them? - If I decide to have sex, what kind of contraception am I planning
to use to guard against pregnancy and STDs?
You may want to write your answers to these questions in your private
journal. It will help you think about things more clearly. Consider all of your
choices, and remember to listen to your inner voice, which will always tell you
what’s right for you (see pages 6–10 for how to do this).
What if you’re in a sexual relationship now and you’re not certain what to
do? First, make sure you’re fully aware of all the physical risks involved and take
any necessary precautions. Talk to your partner: are you both comfortable with
the relationship as it is? If you’re not involved with anybody at the moment but
you have had sex in the past, don’t assume that you have to jump into another
sexual relationship. You can abstain from sex anytime. It’s always your choice.
If you’ve never been sexually active, don’t give in to pressure to do more
than you’re ready for. See “Where to Turn” on pages 100 and 105for more infor-
mation about sex and its physical and emotional consequences.How do you know when
you’re ready for sex?
Hey Terra,
My boyfriend and I think that we’re ready for sex, but how can we tell for sure?Ready