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Sex, Unhealthy Romantic Relationships, and Good-byes 103
Dear Ready,
Before doing anything, ask and answer the following questions (you may want to write the
answers down so you can think about them later, too):
- How do you think sex will change this relationship? How might it change the way
you feel about your boyfriend? How might it change how he feels about you? - Do you completely trust your boyfriend and his feelings for you? Does he completely
trust you and your feelings for him? - Are you willing to risk pregnancy and/or getting a sexually transmitted disease?
- How will you feel about yourself if you become sexually active?
- If you have sex, how will you feel if the relationship ends (which it probably will
eventually, because most teen relationships do)? - What expectations will your boyfriend have after you “do it”? (Will he expect to
have sex whenever you’re alone? Will he be jealous if you talk to other guys?)
The best way to get the answers to these questions is to ask him directly.
As you can see, there are lots of questions to consider, and you’re the only one who can
answer them. So, take your time to think things over. A healthy decision is one that’s 100 per-
cent right for you and the person you’re thinking of having sex with. Be sure to ask yourself
what your values really are. Listen to your inner voice!
In friendship,
Terra
My girlfriend and I ended up having
sex
’
but I didn’t want to
Hey Terra,
The other night, I didn’t want to have sex with my girlfriend, but she kept, you know, touch-
ing me and I got an erection. Even though I told her no, she wouldn’t stop. So we ended up
having sex, but I didn’t want to and now I feel really weird, embarrassed, and kind of upset
about what happened.
Unwilling Will