The Teen Survival Guide to Dating & Relating: Real-World Advice on Guys, Girls, Growing Up, and Getting Along

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104 The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating

Dear Unwilling Will,

When your girlfriend didn’t take no for an answer, she wasn’t treating you with respect. Just

because your body responded to stimulation and gave you the ability to have sex doesn’t

mean you wanted to do it. Part of the reason you’re upset and confused is that you feel

betrayed by your girlfriend and by your own body.

What should you do about it now? Tell your girlfriend how upset and embarrassed you

feel about what happened. You deserve an apology. Make sure your girlfriend knows that the

only way you’ll continue this relationship (assuming you want to) is with the understanding

that the two of you will respect each other’s wishes at all times.

If you need to talk about your feelings with someone other than your girlfriend, I suggest

you talk to a school counselor or another trusted adult and explain what happened. Thanks

for writing.

In friendship,

Terra

I don’t want to have sex

’

but I don’t want to lose him!

Hey Terra,

My boyfriend and I have been going out for two years. I love him a lot, but we have a prob-

lem. He’s been asking to have sex with me, and it’s getting to be a regular argument between

us. I keep telling him that I don’t feel ready for that kind of relationship, but he keeps trying

to convince me that it would be great because we’d get so much closer. I’d like us to get

closer, but I don’t want to do something I’m not ready for.

He says there are lots of girls who’d love to have sex with him. How does he know that?

Is he flirting with other people? Are other girls offering? I think if he really cared about me,

he’d want to be with me even without the sex—don’t you agree? I don’t want to have sex

with him, but I don’t want to lose him either.

Stuck