The Teen Survival Guide to Dating & Relating: Real-World Advice on Guys, Girls, Growing Up, and Getting Along

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110 The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating

with you, especially when you call me names. I feel scared and hurt when you shove me

around. I need to leave, so I can feel good about who I am.” No matter how hard he might

try to convince you to stay, you need to do what’s best for you. And that means staying away

from him. I suggest that you bring a friend or two with you when you break up. That way,

you won’t have to worry as much about your boyfriend getting violent.

Make sure you get help from other people. Talk to friends who know about your situ-

ation, and reach out to an adult who cares about you. I hope this helps!

In friendship,

Terra

I’m afraid to ask my girlfriend

what’s going on with her

Hey Terra,

My girlfriend used to be a sweetheart, but lately her whole personality has changed. I wish I

knew what was going on with her, but I’m afraid to ask. She doesn’t like it when I ask her

personal questions. The other day, I just asked her what she wanted to do this weekend and

she got all mad and started yelling at me, saying that she’d let me know when she decided

and that I should quit bugging her! So I guess I’ll just keep quiet and wait until the girl I fell

in love with comes back again, because right now she’s scary to be around.

Chilling

Dear Chilling,

Being controlling (by saying things like, “I’ll let you know when I decide. Quit bugging me!”)

is a type of verbal abuse. Even though your girlfriend may not be physically violent, she’s using

a form of emotional control. You should never have to feel afraid of someone you’re in a

romantic relationship with.

The solution isn’t to keep quiet and wait until things change. Healthy relationships are

balanced and have open communication. Talk to your girlfriend about her behavior. You might

say, “I’m not happy with the way things have been going. I feel like you yell at me all the time,