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Sex, Unhealthy Romantic Relationships, and Good-byes 111
and I’m not having fun in this relationship anymore. I know something’s bothering you, and
I’d really like to talk about it.” If you need some support before you tell her how you feel, find
a counselor or another caring adult who can help. You could invite your girlfriend to be part
of this conversation, too. Her behavior could be a sign of a deeper problem, and it may be
helpful for her to talk to an adult. I wish you both well.
In friendship,
Terra
My boyfriend questions my every move
Hey Terra,
When my boyfriend and I got together a year ago, everything was positively heaven. Then this
new guy “Doug” came to our school. He’s a real player, and he also drinks. My boyfriend and
Doug became friends, and my boyfriend started acting just like him. He showed up at my
house drunk, and when I told him that he couldn’t come in, he started yelling at me. He later
apologized, but then he did something worse—he slept with this other girl! I was extremely
hurt, but he apologized, and I forgave him.
Things got better, but then he started getting really jealous and asking me questions
about everything I did when I wasn’t with him. Also, he tells me who I can hang with and
where I can go. It’s like I can’t even breathe without telling him about it. He says that if I ever
talk to another guy, he’ll beat the you-know-what out of me and the guy. My friends can’t
stand him, and they tell me that I should break up with him, but they don’t understand how
much I love him. What should I do?
Southern Girl
Dear Southern Girl,
You know in your heart that this isn’t a healthy relationship. Do you really want a boyfriend
who calls all the shots and is jealous, possessive, cheating, drunk, controlling, and out of con-
trol? I suggest that you take a hard look at his behaviors—they’re a form of abuse. Your
boyfriend needs professional help to deal with his problems.