Sex, Unhealthy Romantic Relationships, and Good-byes 113
Tell your mom or another adult you trust the truth—today! Then talk with this adult
about how you can break up with your boyfriend safely. Take precautions by bringing an adult
or some friends with you when you tell him good-bye. Take care.
In friendship,
Terra
SAYING GOOD-BYE
Sometimes you suddenly fall in love and then, just as suddenly, you fall out of
love. Emotions are unpredictable and can change without warning. Even
though your feelings may take you by surprise, you have choices about how you
deal with them. Your inner voice (see pages 6–10) will tell you the right thing
to do.
Most people think relationships end as a result of changing feelings.
Although this is sometimes true, people more often break up because they
aren’t willing to talk about their emotions. Instead of openly communicating,
many people sweep their feelings under the rug. Pretty soon, all the little un-
spoken resentments, hurts, and insecurities create such a lump in the rug that
no one can walk over it without tripping.
So what do you do now? You can’t ignore that growing lump forever! It’s a
good idea to lift up the rug, take a look at all those feelings you’ve been hiding,
and talk about what’s bothering you. Many people do just the opposite, though,
because they figure it’s easier to toss out the rug and get a new one. As a result,
the relationship ends, and one person is left feeling shocked and hurt, while the
other probably feels guilty. And neitherperson learns much about how to have
a healthy relationship.
Lots of issues can cause lumps (problems) in relationships. These include
disrespect, dishonesty, a lack of trust, and a lack of communication. To avoid
these relationship pitfalls, talkto your boyfriend/girlfriend whenever a conflict
arises. This way, you get things out in the open. Communication can lead to
solutions.
But what if you havetalked about the problems and have even tried to solve
them? Maybe you seem to keep arguing about the same old things or you feel
“stuck.” Or maybe your wants and needs have changed, and the relationship