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Sex, Unhealthy Romantic Relationships, and Good-byes 121
Can I break up with my boyfriend
without hurting him?
Hey Terra,
My boyfriend is a very sweet guy, but I’m just not in love with him anymore. I want to break
up, but I don’t want to hurt him. Is there an easy way to do it without hurting him?
Gentle Soul
Dear Gentle Soul,
I’m glad you understand that your feelings have changed and it’s time to move on, and I think
it’s very caring of you to be concerned about your boyfriend’s feelings. Unfortunately, there’s
not an easy way to tell him that you don’t love him anymore, but here’s some advice that
might make it a little less painful for both of you:
- Talk to your boyfriend face-to-face. Communicate your feelings honestly.
- Stick with “I feel.. .” statements. These are easier to hear than
“You never.. .” or “You always... .” - Act with sensitivity. Your boyfriend is probably going to feel upset, so be kind.
- Make a clean break. Don’t let yourself be talked out of your decision.
- Say thank you. Tell your boyfriend what this relationship has meant to you.
After you say what you need to say, leave. That way, he can be with his feelings in
private. Good luck!
In friendship,
Terra