When I read letters like this one, I’m reminded of how complicated it is to
be a teen, especially when it comes to relationships. Sometimes you say stuff
you don’t mean to people you really care about, and they feel hurt and angry.
And sometimes you can’t, no matter how hard you try, say the things you really
domean. And then, because of what you didn’tsay, people feel hurt and angry.
It’s challenging to make relationships work when you haven’t had much prac-
tice talking about your feelings—feelings that are often intense, mixed up, and
constantly changing. This is why it’s often difficult for others to understand
what’s going on with you and for you to understand yourself without help.
And this is where Terra comes in. I read every email addressed to Terra, and
I personally answer each one. I’m here to help young people improve their
relationships because I believe everyone (including you) deserves to be happy
and treated with respect. My goal is to help you understand your feelings and
to show you how to build healthier relationships with your friends,
boyfriends/girlfriends, parents, siblings, teachers, coaches, and others.
This book includes more than one hundred letters from teens who wrote to
me for advice. (To protect the teens’ privacy, I decided not to use real names or
any specific details that might identify a particular letter writer. Still, the letters
and situations are absolutely real.) The letters let you find out what other teens
are going through and see how their experiences are similar to your own.
As you read the letters, think about the questions and answers. Then ask
yourself:- How are these issues similar to mine?
- How are they different?
- If I were in these kinds of situations, what would I do?
- Do Terra’s answers make sense to me?
- Could Terra’s advice help me or a friend, now or in the future?
Maybe you’re thinking, “What makes her such an expert on relationships?”
I don’t claim to be an expert (and neither does Terra!). But, just like you, I’ve
had experiences that have taught me about myself and life. As a student, a
teacher, a writer, a traveler, an actor, a director, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a
friend, a mom, and a wife, I’ve spent years becoming comfortable with who I
am and learning what it takes to get along with others. My advice is always
based on what I know about healthy relationships, which are the only kind
worth having.2 The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating