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Friends, Peers, and Enemies 133
- Instant dislikes. If you immediately dislike someone, perhaps that person
has a quality you recognize and dislike in yourself. If you look closely, you
might realize that you’re sometimes a little bit like that person, which gives you
something in common. In fact, if you overcome your negative feelings for each
other, you might even become friends, and this isn’t a bad way for a friendship
to start. By sharing your “weaknesses” and talking about them honestly, you can
work together to turn them into strengths.
Real friends don’t need to be totally alike or to agree about everything. But
real friends doneed to respect each other enough to talk about their decisions
and give each other honest advice.
Do you have friends from various ethnic backgrounds who’ve had life expe-
riences different from your own? If so, this gives you an amazing opportunity
to grow. Maybe you’ve thought or said something like, “My friend and I come
from totally different families, and sometimes the way we do stuff is the exact
opposite, but none of that matters because we really respect each other.” Such
friendships canbroaden your understanding of other people, deepen your com-
passion for all human beings, and help you appreciate what makes each person
unique.
But when friends have different values and opposite ideas about right and
wrong, it’s more difficult to remain close. What can you do if your friendship is
headed in this direction? Or what if you’re starting to feel as if the qualities that
once drew you to a certain friend don’t appeal to you anymore? It’s time for
open communication! Talk so you can each share your point of view and figure
out the next step.
I’ve lost respect for my
“druggie” friends
Hey Terra,
Drugs are destroying my life, and I’m not even doing them—my friends are! It’s not like my
friends are forcing me to do drugs (they’re not), but I have an uncle who’s a drug addict so
I have a real problem when I see other people doing drugs.