Send
Friends, Peers, and Enemies 135
did at her old school. I don’t want to be mean or anything, but I don’t like her. She calls me
all the time, and I just don’t want to be friends with her anymore!
She’s Driving Me Crazy!
Dear She’s Driving Me Crazy,
You sound like a nice person, and I admire you for not wanting to hurt this girl’s feelings.
I also appreciate that you want less closeness with her because you are, as you say, feeling
trapped. Even if you don’t want this girl to be your friend anymore, she deserves respect—and
that means clearly communicating how you’re feeling.
You might say, “I know you don’t have many other friends here yet, but it’s starting to
feel like we’re always together and it’s too much for me. I need time to do things with other
people, and I wish you had other people to spend time with, too. Maybe if you tried to get
to know other people besides me, you’d make some new friends.” If you tell her the truth in
a way that’s meant to help and not hurt, you’re giving her the opportunity to grow and
change.
You’re always free to end a relationship, and doing it honestly, with respect and sensi-
tivity, is a mature way to resolve the issue. One more thing: you could talk to a teacher about
the dilemma and maybe he/she could design a class project to get the girl involved with some
new people. Good luck!
In friendship,
Terra
My two best friends are worst enemies
Hey Terra,
My two best friends don’t like each other very much, which is weird because they were best
friends long before I became friends with either of them. Anyway, I’d like for the three of us
to be together, but that’s impossible because they absolutely refuse to talk to each other. They
don’t mind talking abouteach other, though, and that’s the part I hate the most. They both
tell me all this bad stuff about each other. It would be so much nicer if they got along—then