The Teen Survival Guide to Dating & Relating: Real-World Advice on Guys, Girls, Growing Up, and Getting Along

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136 The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating

we could all do stuff together. Instead, I have to keep track of whose turn it is to be with me.

Got any ideas about how I can get them to make up?

Sigh

Dear Sigh,

I’m sorry you’re in the middle of all these negative feelings. Your friends are being disrespect-

ful to each other and to you! But there’s no law that says all of your friends need to get along

with each other, even though it would be much nicer for you (and them) if they did.

Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do to make peace between them, except to

explain how it makes you feel for them to be enemies. You might say, “I wish you guys could

be friends again, but if you don’t want to be, then fine. I just want to tell you that I’m not

going to listen to you criticizing each other anymore. I’ve heard enough of that. If you can’t

stop, I’ll have to find other friends to spend time with.” As long as they respect your request

not to use you as a dumping ground for their hostilities, you can continue spending time with

each of them individually. If they keep on “trashing” each other in your presence, stick to your

promise to start spending time with more peaceful people. I wish you well.

In friendship,

Terra

My friend is having sex

with her boyfriend!

Hey Terra,

My best friend and I used to be really close, and we’d tell each other everything. But about

two weeks ago, she told me something I wish she had kept secret. She’s having sex with her

boyfriend! I’m a virgin, and I think premarital sex is wrong. Now that I know what she’s doing,

I’ve lost respect for her and I feel like I can’t be her friend anymore. She still thinks we’re best

friends. What should I do?

Troubled