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140 The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating
I told my friend that I’m a lesbian
Hey Terra,I’m fifteen, and I’ve known that I’m a lesbian for about a year. I came out to some online
friends, and they were all cool with it, so I decided I’d tell my best friend. I don’t have roman-
tic feelings for her—I just wanted her to know the truth. She freaked and called me awful
names, and she said that she didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore. I feel really
hurt about this because we’ve been best friends since we were eight. I don’t understand why
she’s acting like this. We’ve had talks about homosexuality before, and she always said she
didn’t have a problem with it. Obviously, she does have a problem with it. Is there anything
I can do to have her be my friend again?Lavender GirlDear Lavender Girl,
You were brave to come out to your friend. It was a risk, and I’m very sorry you were hurt.
Your earlier discussions about homosexuality gave you the impression that your friend didn’t
have a problem with it. But sometimes people have one opinion when they talk about things
in general and a different opinion when the topic affects them personally.
Your friend’s reaction is prejudiced. Her opinions are blinding her to the fact that you’re
still the good friend she’s always cared about. I suggest that you give her time to think. It’s
likely that she may realize she’s overreacting. I hope, for your sake as well as hers, that she dis-
covers your friendship is what’s really important. Give her another chance to figure that out.
Some people will accept you as a lesbian, and some people won’t. Acceptance is some-
thing everyone deals with, gay or straight. The people who love and accept you are your real
friends. Always remember that.
Many schools now have gay-straight student alliances, or organizations that bring gay
and straight people together to fight ignorance and build bridges between them. These
groups often have newsletters or Web sites to offer support. Ask your school counselor for
more information about organizations to contact. Maybe you can even start a gay-straight
student alliance in your own school. Good luck!In friendship,
Terra