The Teen Survival Guide to Dating & Relating: Real-World Advice on Guys, Girls, Growing Up, and Getting Along

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144 The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating

We made a pact not to mess around

with each other’s boyfriends

Hey Terra,

I can’t believe the mess I’m in, but my two best friends wouldn’t be friends anymore if one of

them knew what the other one did. I wish I didn’t know, but I do. You see, I just found out

this afternoon that my friend “A” slept with my friend “T’s” boyfriend. “A” told me this her-

self, and then she begged me to keep my mouth shut and I agreed. I know this isn’t fair to

“T,” but what am I supposed to do? When the three of us became best friends in sixth grade,

we made this pact that we’d nevermess around with each other’s boyfriends, not even after

one of us broke up with him—and certainly not when one of us was still going out with him!

What should I do about this mess?

In a Mess

Dear In a Mess,

What a totally unfair position for “A” to put you in! Tell her that you aren’t going to lie for

her anymore. She has broken a major agreement with “T,” and “T’s” boyfriend has betrayed

her, too. I don’t blame you for not wanting to be a part of this secret.

I suggest that you tell “A” you’re removing yourself from the middle of this situation

because you don’t want to take sides. Recommend that she admit the truth, because “T” is

going to hear about it from someone else anyway. Secrets like this don’t stay secret for long.

If she refuses to tell the truth, let her know that youwill. “T” deserves to know what really

happened.

Betraying a friend is a sure way to bust up any friendship, a lesson that “A” needs to

learn. Meanwhile, “T” will need some support, and you can give it to her. Remember to take

care of yourself while you’re dealing with all of this. Thanks for writing.

In friendship,

Terra