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Friends, Peers, and Enemies 147
if the friend who usually gives the advice has a problem and needs help—can
this person get advice from the friend who usually plays the role of “listener”?
If not, the relationship is more like a one-way street. In a real friendship, the
flow goes in bothdirections.
She says she’ll call back
’
but she never does!
Hey Terra,
My friend has a boyfriend, and I don’t. Maybe that’s why I’m a better friend to her than she is
to me. All I know is that whenever she’s upset with her boyfriend or wants to tell me all the
cool stuff they do together, she calls me to talk, and I listen. But whenever I need to talk to her,
she gets off the phone really quick or she says she’ll call me right back, but she never does! I’ve
told her lots of times that I don’t like it, and she always says she’s sorry but then does it again.
Left Hanging
Dear Left Hanging,
I’m sorry that your friend is being insensitive. Some people have difficulty balancing a roman-
tic relationship with their friendships. It’s too bad when this happens, because people who do
this tend to feel very lonely when their romance ends and they discover that their friends are
gone, too.
It looks to me like this girl doesn’t want to put the time or energy into a real friendship
with you. Instead, she expects that you’ll always be there when she needs you, even if she
offers nothing in return. This is a set-up for you to keep getting hurt.
I suggest that you reach out to others in friendship. Are there some single girls or guys in
your classes or that you see during after-school activities? Look around and decide who looks
like they have high “friend potential.” Most people are friendly, and they respond to a smile.
Why not try it out and see what happens? You deserve to have friends who can give as well
as take. I hope this helps!
In friendship,
Terra