The Teen Survival Guide to Dating & Relating: Real-World Advice on Guys, Girls, Growing Up, and Getting Along

150 The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating

Dear Needs Help,

It’s great that you realize this girl has been a true friend and deserves your help. She’s lucky to

have a friend like you who’s willing to stand up for her.

Rumors can be very hurtful, so it’s important to try to stop them. Whenever you hear this

rumor, defend your friend. You could say, “What you’re saying isn’t true, and you should stop

spreading it around.” Ask some of your other friends to help in the same way to stamp out

this rumor for good.

Fortunately, rumors usually don’t last very long (as people in the newspaper business

know, yesterday’s news just isn’t as compelling). The more people work against the lies, the

more quickly the rumor dies. I hope this helps!

In friendship,

Terra

Trust

Support goes hand in hand with trust. Real friends trust each other and feel

confident that they’re on the same “team.” Knowing what’s expected of you as

a friend, and meeting those expectations, is what friendship is all about.

If you’ve ever seen an action movie, you’ve watched bad guys stalk some-

one. They do things like sneak around corners carrying concealed weapons and

often aren’t what they pretend to be. You can’t trust these people or turn your

back on them for a minute, because you never know what they’re up to.

With friends, on the other hand, you can relax completely. You can turn

your back, and even close your eyes if you want to, because a real friend will

never hurt you. And a real friend knows you won’t hurt him/her either. That’s

mutual trust, and you can count on it.

This isn’t to say that mistakes don’t happen in a friendship—they do.

Sometimes people accidentally say or do things that hurt each other. When this

happens, a good friend will admit the error and apologize. Good friends forgive

each other and move on.

But what happens if a friend says or does something with the intention of

hurting? That’s called a betrayal,and it’s a major break in trust. You might won-

der, “Why would my friend do that to me? I’d never do something like that!”

All of a sudden, the person you trusted isn’t quite so trustworthy anymore, and

you might feel very confused and insecure.