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Friends, Peers, and Enemies 151
If a friend betrays you or if you betray a friend, it’s important to talk about
it. Even though the conversation might be uncomfortable, you and your friend
have got to communicate. Here are some suggestions for talking things out:
- Share your side of the story. If your friend hurt you in some way, com-
municate this. Let him/her know how you feel and why. If you did something
hurtful to your friend, explain why you did it. - Listen to your friend’s side of the story. If your friend betrayed you, find
out why. After you’ve listened, ask yourself if you feel confident that you’ve
heard the realreasons behind the actions. If you don’t feel that the truth has
been revealed, you may still have trouble trusting your friend, even if this person
promises never to betray you again. If the betrayal was yours, on the other hand,
listen to what your friend has to say to you. Don’t get defensive.
•Apologize and forgive. This is an essential step for putting the betrayal
behind you and continuing your friendship. Make a promise to each other that
this will neverhappen again. Then keep your promise.
•Decide whether you’re still friends. If a friend who has betrayed you
can’t guarantee that it will never happen again, the relationship may be damaged
beyond repair. You no longer have an important ingredient for friendship: trust.
If you betrayed someone, find out whether you’re truly forgiven. Whatever you
and your friend decide, be honest about what you’re doing and why.
Isn’t it wrong to date
your best friend’s ex?
Hey Terra,
My best friend’s boyfriend just broke up with her. They had gone out for eight months. The
thing is that he and I have known each other since seventh grade (we’re in ninth now), and