Friends, Peers, and Enemies 155
the car and that you don’t want it to occur again. You might say, “I love my girlfriend, and
I would never do anything to hurt her. I’m surprised that you would think this is okay, since
you’re her best friend and if she found out, she’d be really upset with you. I just want you to
know that if you do anything like this again, I’m going to tell her.” If this doesn’t stop her,
I suggest that you tell your girlfriend what happened. She deserves a better friend than one
who would betray her so easily. Good luck!
In friendship,
Terra
PEER GROUPS
Everyone has peers (people their own age who work or go to school with them)
and feels pressure from them to some degree. Teens, however, usually feel it more
strongly. Why is this? Most likely because, as a teen, you’re trying to figure out
what’s important to you and what’s worth standing up for. You’re also trying
hard to be accepted by others. This desire to fit in makes you more vulnerable
to peer pressure. You may end up doing or saying something you don’t want to
because you’re afraid of how others will react if you don’t.
When most people hear the words “peer pressure,” they imagine a noisy
party where someone suddenly drapes an arm around a shy kid’s shoulders
and says, “Want a beer?” In this scenario, the kid could say, “No, thanks, I’m
not thirsty right now” or “I don’t drink” and walk away. There’s another kind of
peer pressure, though, and it’s quieter and may be harder to resist. Suppose you
wear your favorite old pair of shoes to school and overhear someone remark,
“I wonder what century she got thosein?” Maybe other people laugh, and you
feel so embarrassed that you can barely think about anything at school that day.
If you were to give in to that kind of pressure, you’d probably never wear the
shoes to school again.
Still other kinds of peer pressure may not even be directed at you. Imagine,
for example, that you’re hanging out with a group of people and someone
makes a racist, ethnic, sexist, or homophobic joke. Maybe you think it’s offen-
sive and not funny at all, but everyone else laughs. You might feel the impulse
to laugh, too, even though the joke makes you uncomfortable or angry. If you