Send
Friends, Peers, and Enemies 157
and act just like their peers, and that’s where the pressure comes in. Sometimes the attitude
is that anyone who looks “different” is weird and to be avoided at all costs. Now that you’re
in high school, you’re developing your individual identity. You might also start connecting with
new peer groups that place a higher value on talents, interests, and activities, instead of on
appearances.
You say that your friend is trying to make you cooler. If being cool means living your life
by a certain formula, I agree that it’s not worth the effort. If you and your friend do become
accepted by the popular people, you’ll start stressing out about “staying” cool enough for
them. That’s a waste of time and energy.
You know what? Being reallycool means daring to be different and acting as an individ-
ual. The path your friend is on sounds more like conformity. If you feel good about who you
are and are clear about your values, you’ll be able to choose what’s right for you, even if your
best friend (or your entire peer group) chooses something different. Be true to yourself!
In friendship,
Terra
My friends are into things
that I know are wrong
Hey Terra,
I feel stuck, and I hope you can help. My friends are into some stuff that I know is wrong
(I’d rather not say what it is they’re doing). They’ve already guaranteed that I’ll be a social
outcast if I refuse to do what they want me to do.
Witness
Dear Witness,
You haven’t given me many details, but when it comes to peer pressure, the details don’t really
matter. Your inner voice is already telling you exactly what you need to do: stay away from
things that you know are wrong. You have good values, and you’re less likely to make a big
mistake if you stick to them.