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158 The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating
If these friends would dump you for sticking to your values, they’re not real friends. You
obviously don’t feel comfortable going along with the things they do. But if you do what they
say anyway, you’re giving away the power you have over your own life. I understand that the
idea of making new friends may seem scary. But it would be a whole lot worse to lose your
self-respect than to lose these so-called friends.
Also, depending on how wrong the stuff they do is, going along with them may lead you
into trouble. Do yourself a favor: before you make a decision, think hard about what’s right
for you. Picture how you’d feel if you were to do things their way. Then picture how you’d
feel if you followed your inner voice. The only person you need to answer to is yourself. I wish
you the best.In friendship,
TerraI’m not ready for all this boy stuff
Hey Terra,
I hear a lot about girls who have sex just because they’re afraid they’ll get dumped if they
don’t. I’m not ready for any of that stuff yet, but my friends are and they’re always trying to
set me up with friends of guys they’re going with. I wish it could be the way it used to be with
us, you know, before all the boy stuff started. I don’t want to be a dork, but I don’t want to
get pregnant either!Please HelpDear Please Help,
I understand why you’re wishing that your friends hadn’t changed, but you’re a smart girl who
knows exactly what you are and aren’t ready for. Real friends respect your values. All it should
take is telling your friends to back off on the boy stuff until you’re ready. You might say,
“We’ve always been really good friends, and I know the reason you’re setting me up with guys
is so that we can all go out together. That’s really sweet, but these guys aren’t right for me.
They want to have sex, and I’m not ready for that yet. So I’d really appreciate it if you’d stop