The Teen Survival Guide to Dating & Relating: Real-World Advice on Guys, Girls, Growing Up, and Getting Along

160 The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating

doing this, and I wish you wouldn’t either. It’s just not right to be so mean to somebody.”

If your friends want to continue, let them know it will have to be without you. That way, they

get to choose.

One caution: if your friends aren’t ready to grow up, they could turn their nastiness on

you. (I hope this doesn’t happen!) Be prepared and stay cool. You have good values, which

can carry you through any situation. If things get really bad between you and your friends,

I suggest that you talk to a school counselor or another adult who can give you ideas for

resolving conflicts nonviolently. Good luck!

In friendship,

Terra

ENEMIES

The world would be a wonderful place if everyone got along, but unfortunately,

that isn’t the way life is and it probably never will be. The good news is that most

people in your life are either close friends, friendly acquaintances, or people

you don’t have feelings for one way or another because you don’t know them

very well. However, some people may simply not like you, for whatever reason.

Usually, they make their feelings known, and you may feel the same way toward

them. If the feelings are very negative, you might even consider these people to

be enemies.

How do people become enemies? Most often, they start out as friends,

but then there’s a fight, a major disagreement, or a betrayal. The conflict isn’t

resolved, and the two people start disliking, or even hating, each other. Some-

times people who were once the best of friends become worst enemies.

If you have a falling-out with a friend, you should try to put the conflict

behind you. Unfortunately, you may not always succeed. It’s not that you can’t

resolve the conflict (acknowledging a wrongdoing and saying you’re sorry usu-

ally does the trick), but, in some cases, you may not be willing to do so. Maybe

one or both of you isn’t ready to let go of your feelings of hurt and anger.

Holding on to the hurt and making the other person “wrong” somehow

becomes more important than repairing the friendship.

When this happens, your friendship may just fade away, and you simply

become former friends. Other times, the unresolved conflict grows and takes on