Send
Friends, Peers, and Enemies 161
a life of its own. The bitterness between you grows, and you form a new rela-
tionship: enemies. You may give each other the silent treatment, or you may say
rude things to and about each other. It’s terrible to waste energy hating each
other. If you’re in a situation like this, see Chapter 9, “Conflict Resolution Tool
Kit,” on pages 229–237. If all else fails, ask a school counselor for advice.
Not all enemies are former friends. Sometimes people who don’t even know
each other become enemies. These people might decide, after one look, that
they dislike each other. What kind of thinking is behind a decision like this?
Not clear thinking, that’s for sure!
Too often these days, when teens take out their hatred on people they
regard as enemies, schools turn into violent places, and innocent people are
injured or killed. This is why it’s so important to be aware of what’s really going
on in your school and in your community. Look around. Are there outcasts
at your school—people who are left out, snubbed, picked on, teased, or even
tormented? Have you witnessed racism, sexism, homophobia, or other forms
of intolerance? Does your school have a bunch of cliques that exclude some
students or make them feel terrible about themselves?
If you see “enemy” situations like this, speak out. Talk to your principal,
teachers, school counselor, or any other adults who will listen. Get involved in
your school’s peer mediation program or find other ways to resolve conflicts
peacefully. By joining together to make the peace, through community activism
and student leadership, you can help teach your peers and the adults around
you that life is too short for hating.
How can I get this guy
to leave me alone?
Hey Terra,
There’s this kid in my school, and we used to hang out together when we were younger. He’s
changed a lot, though. He used to be really nice, but now he always seems ready to pick a
fight with me or something. He plays football, and I’m not into sports at all. Every time he sees
me, he says stuff like, “Hey faggot! Where’s your boyfriend?” I’ve never done anything to