Getting Along with Parents 173
you, and you’re going to miss her, too. Wouldn’t it be nice if you could tell each other the
truth and get closer, instead of creating a wall between you?
You’ll be on your own soon, so it’s important to work on this relationship while you’re
still living at home. Once you’ve left, it might be harder for you and your mom to communi-
cate directly. Of course, some parent-child relationships improve after the child moves out, but
I suggest that you do your best to work things out before you go.
If you want a peaceful relationship with your mom, stop the blaming and start honestly
sharing your feelings. Invite her to go out and do something with you—something the two of
you used to enjoy doing together. Get away from your usual “battleground” and have a good
time and a good talk.
It’s not only up to you to make peace, however. Both people contribute to a deterio-
rating relationship, and both need to be willing to rebuild. My guess is that your mom wishes
as much as you do that you were closer. Why don’t you start a conversation with her on that
topic? Go for it!
In friendship,
Terra
OPEN COMMUNICATION
Open, honest communication is at the heart of anyhealthy relationship. But
this is especially true when it comes to you and your parents. Even though these
are the people who helped teach you how to speak, they’re often the ones you
have the most trouble communicating with!
Who’s responsible for the problem? Usually, it’s the parents andthe teen.
Open communication flows naturally out of mutualtrust, respect, and honesty.
If the door to good communication is locked, allpeople involved usually hold
equal parts of the key that will unlock the door. In other words, the more will-
ing you and your parents are to share your ideas, love, appreciation, praise,
objections, and resentments, the more likely you’ll be to stay close with each
other, now and always.
If communication has shut down between you and your parents, your rela-
tionship may feel like all-out warfare with yelling or long, angry silences. Your
struggle for independence is natural (even necessary), but it doesn’t have to