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Getting Along with Parents 187
legally an adult. Until you are, your parents have control over many parts of your
life, including where you live and what rules you have to follow. This doesn’t
mean they have total control over you, though. You have your own life, your own
path to travel, and your own choices to make. By working with your parents to
create a set of reasonable agreements, you learn to make good decisions, be
responsible for your actions, and perhaps avoid making some mistakes. When
you do make mistakes, however (and we all do), remember to view them as
learning opportunities that can help you grow.
My dad is great about
everything except dating
Hey Terra,
I’m fifteen and a half, and my dad has raised me as a single parent for the past six years.
I love him a lot, and he’s really great except when it comes to dating. He lets me go out with
a group of friends on weekends, but he won’t let me and my boyfriend be alone together.
Also, he makes me come home by eleven o’clock, which is embarrassingly early. I tell him
that he can absolutely trust me, and he says he does but he doesn’t trust my boyfriend. (How
can he not trust him when he’s never even met him?) Doesn’t all this sound unreasonable for
a kid my age? I tell my dad that I can’t stand how he’s all of a sudden trying to control my
life, but he won’t listen.
Canary
Dear Canary,
I’m glad you appreciate the wonderful job your dad has done so far. It sounds like you under-
stand that being a single parent is very difficult. Your dad might be having trouble letting you
date because it means that you’re growing up, which brings a whole new set of emotional
challenges for you to experience. Then there are the risks of sex, like pregnancy and sexually
transmitted diseases (STDs), which might be why your dad is so concerned about you. Dating
also signals that you’ll be leaving home soon. Right now, your dad has lots of things to think
about, which is why you need to share your feelings with each other. If the two of you can