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196 The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating
My mom read a letter
about my boyfriend
Hey Terra,
My mom read a letter I wrote to my friend, and she found out about me and my boyfriend and
some stuff that we’ve been doing. Now she says I’m grounded, and I have to break up with
him because I’m not allowed to have a boyfriend until I’m eighteen (like she was). I’m sixteen
now, and I don’t want to wait another two years. I knew she didn’t want me to date because
she’s told me a million times, but I love my boyfriend and I don’t want to break up with him.
And I’m not going to, even though I told her I would. But what if she finds out again?Hanging ToughDear Hanging Tough,I think it was an invasion of your privacy for your mom to read that letter. At the same time,
it was a betrayal of her trust to date someone when she said you couldn’t.
I think it would be a bad idea for you to date behind your mom’s back. If she finds out,
you may be in worse trouble. Besides, sneaking around won’t be good for your relationship
with your mom or for your relationship with your boyfriend. And someone else will be
affected if you sneak around—you.Hiding and lying will most likely make you feel stressed
out, angry, and frustrated. It isn’t worth the pain.
Here’s my advice: talk to your mom. You might say, “Mom, I was wrong to start dating
without your permission. I’m really sorry. I should have told you when we first went out.
I understand about your rules, but I really like my boyfriend and I don’t want to break up.
I also don’t want to sneak around. Maybe if you got to know him, you’d feel better about us
going out. Would it be okay if I asked him over so you could meet him?” This may work for
you, and it may not. As long as you’re under eighteen, you have to live by your mom’s rules.
The best you can do is try to resolve your problems openly. I hope she can learn to trust you
and that you live up to her trust! Thanks for writing.In friendship,
Terra