Sibling Relationships 207
COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS
Poor communication is the cause of most relationship problems. For people
who don’t spend that much time together, communication difficulties aren’t all
that noticeable. But for siblings living under the same roof, poor communica-
tion is veryapparent. It often results in frequent arguments, something you (and
other people) can’t help but notice!
It’s normal to argue. People have different ideas, opinions, and points of
view. That’s what makes the world such an interesting place. But these differ-
ences of opinion often lead to conflict. In fact, you and your siblings probably
have lots of ongoing issues to resolve. Typical arguments between siblings
might start with these words:
- “Who said you could wear my clothes?”
- “It’s yourturn to do the dishes tonight, not mine!”
- “How come you always get to stay out later?”
- “Stay away from my boyfriend/girlfriend!”
- “Don’t touch my stuff.”
- “I’m the runner in this family, and you’re not going
out for the track team!”
Maybe some of these statements sound familiar, because this is the way
you and your siblings relate to each other. If so, you’ll probably admit that this
way doesn’t work very well. Maybe you’d like it if you and your siblings could
have a more peaceful relationship, but you’ve never imagined that it actually
could improve. Well, anything can happen! You can work on improving any
relationship.
Because you and your siblings have been relating to each other in specific
ways for so long, you’ll have to work hard to make changes. It’s going to take a
lot of effort to break the long-established patterns of competing, being jealous,
arguing, and blaming. Knowing your brother/sister as well as you do, you
might even say “Impossible!” But as the saying goes, “Impossible just takes a
little longer.”
Building healthier relationships requires honesty, trust, and respect. If
you’re ready to “remodel” your relationship with your brother/sister, talk to
him/her about it first. Remember, healthy relationships are a two-way street,