The Teen Survival Guide to Dating & Relating: Real-World Advice on Guys, Girls, Growing Up, and Getting Along

10 The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating

But none of this has anything to do with your wanting to get to know this girl better.

What matters is doing what’s right for you. You don’t need anyone else’s approval. Follow

your heart!

In friendship,

Terra

RIDING EMOTIONAL WAVES

Emotions (feelings) come and go like waves. Sometimes you feel intensely

angry, sad, or scared. Other times, you feel intensely happy, embarrassed, or

confused. This is true for everyone, but especially for teens, whose emotional

swings can be frequent and dramatic.

What can you do about emotional waves? Learn to understand them.

Emotions are triggered, in part, by hormones and events in your life. You don’t

necessarily choose your emotions, and you can’t prevent them. Emotions hap-

pen; that’s what makes us human.

It helps to understand that you and your emotions are separate. You have

feelings (and they may be powerful), but your feelings aren’t you.You are your

thoughts, dreams, talents, skills, goals, memories, experiences, and muchmore.

So when emotional waves wash over you, make a conscious choice to

express these feelings in healthy ways. You can talk to someone, write in a

journal, or go for a walk or run. Once you’re seeing things more clearly (instead

of through waves of emotion), start working on what’s bothering you and find

a positive solution.

Here’s another way of thinking about your emotions: you can’t control the

waves, but you can learn to ride them, stay afloat, and not get dragged down by

the undertow. It isn’t easy, but learning to identify, accept, and express your feel-

ings in healthy ways is an important part of growing up.

Anger

The world presents plenty of things to get angry about: war, injustice, poverty,

environmental abuse, and so on. But it doesn’t do you (or the world) any good