The Teen Survival Guide to Dating & Relating: Real-World Advice on Guys, Girls, Growing Up, and Getting Along

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210 The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating

it if you treated him and his stuff the same way that he treats yours, he’ll come to understand

your point of view.

If the situation doesn’t improve after your conversation, talk to a parent and get support

in setting limits for your brother. He needs to learn about respecting other people’s privacy and

property. Good luck!

In friendship,

Terra

My older brother acts like he’s my dad!

Hey Terra,

My brother is twelve years older than I am. He’s twenty-six, and he just got married. The thing

I don’t like is that he’s always been really bossy. My mom died when I was six, and because

our dad worked, my brother was in charge of taking care of me. I guess that’s why he just

naturally has gotten used to bossing me around like a substitute dad. What he doesn’t seem

to understand is that I’m fourteen now, and I don’t need him to tell me what to do anymore.

He doesn’t even live in our house, but he’s always talking to my dad about what I’m doing.

Then my dad starts changing his mind about stuff he already said I could do. My brother’s

always telling me what I should and shouldn’t do. It’s like I have two dads, only my brother is

the strict one! I hate it! Help!

Too Many Dads

Dear Too Many Dads,

I’m sorry you lost your mom at such an early age. I’m sure that was very difficult for you, your

brother, and your dad. Sometimes in situations where one parent is suddenly gone, other

family members shift roles to try to deal with the loss.

It sounds like your brother loves you, but I think you’re right: he probably has gotten used

to looking out for you. He may be concerned that you’ll get in trouble now that you’re a teen

and he’s not living at home anymore. But your brother needs to back off and let your dad be

your parent.