he dictionary defines “authority” as having the power or right to control,
command, or decide. You may feel anxious and nervous around anyone
who has the power to make decisions about your life. You most likely don’t
want to do or say anything to upset the authority figure (AF). On the other
hand, you don’t want to have to “kiss up” to that person. And it never helps to
act out or to be rude.
So, what’s the best way to deal with AFs? Ideally, in any healthy relation-
ship, you can relax and be yourself. And communicate openly and honestly.
And treat the other person with respect so that you’ll be respected in return.
But is it possible to have a healthy relationship with someone who holds
the power to impact your future? Yes! You can learn to communicate honestly
and negotiate confidently in allrelationships, including the ones you have with
AFs. That means losing any feelings of nervousness or resentment, so you can
really talk with the individual behind the title of teacher, boss, coach, or prin-
cipal. When you learn to communicate with these people one-on-one, with
confidence and maturity, you earn their respect and trust. This makes it easier
to resolve issues or handle problems that come up.
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C H A P T E R 8
Dealing with
Authority Figures
T