Dealing with Authority Figures 217
Miguel’s English teacher hands back his essay with a B
and this message at the top of the first page: “If you
had proofread this, it would have been worth an A.”
Miguel is angry because he thought he’d written a great
essay and didn’t see why a few spelling errors and typos
were a big deal. After class, he accuses his teacher of being an unfair grader
and demands the A he deserved.
Is this a healthy way to deal with an AF? No. Miguel was angry, but rather
than cooling off and thinking through his options, he tried to force his teacher
to change his grade. Instead, he could have apologized for turning in sloppy
work and asked for a chance to clean up the essay and resubmit it.
Sherelle, a sophomore, has been on the tennis team
since she was in eighth grade. Now she’s interested in
soccer and wants to quit tennis, but she’s afraid to tell
the tennis coach about her decision. Sherelle is sure the
coach, who she’s always been close to, will be angry
and hurt—and may never speak to her again. Sherelle decides it would be
easier to just stick with the tennis team after all.
Does this relationship seem healthy? Not really. Even though Sherelle feels
close to her tennis coach, she’s afraid to admit that she’s interested in trying out
for soccer. Sherelle assumesthat the coach will get mad or stop speaking to her
and, as a result, avoids having an important conversation.
Rico’s uncle owns a hardware store and keeps saying
that he can’t wait until Rico turns sixteen, so he can
come work at the store after school. Rico loves his
uncle but isn’t that interested in hardware. One
evening, while eating dinner with his aunt and uncle,
Rico says: “I really appreciate that you want me to work with you at the store,
but I plan to get an internship at a printing company instead. You know how
interested I am in printing and design. Maybe I’ll even be able to help you with
ads for the store someday.”