Me, Myself, and I 11
to direct your anger at other people or to turn it inward where it eats away at
you. Instead, you can choose to deal with anger in positiveways. If, for example,
you’re outraged about an animal-rights issue, channel your anger into speaking
out, organizing letter-writing campaigns, or volunteering at an animal shelter.
This way, you’re doing something productive with the extra energy that anger
produces in your body.
Sometimes it’s not a situation but a person who sparks your anger.
Depending on your mood, it may not take much to make you mad. Suppose
someone jokes about the way your hair looks today. While the person may not
have meant anything by it, you might get angry or even feel as if your day is
ruined. Something that wasn’t supposed to be a big deal has just become one.
Other times, the cause of your anger really isa big deal, like when a friend
betrays your trust. You may feel so angry and hurt that you wonder if you’ll ever
get over it.
No matter what causes your anger, bottling it up inside won’t help. You
have to let it out. This is the best way to deal with it.
For many people, releasing anger means yelling, swearing, plotting revenge,
or using physical violence. How do youhandle anger? If you’re upset with a
friend, do you say mean things or bring up hurt feelings from the past? Maybe
you stop talking to the person altogether, and the friendship ends. How about
when you get mad at your brother or sister? Do you scream and threaten? Hit?
Throw things? Do you storm into your room and slam the door, silently hating
everyone and everything?
If any of this sounds familiar, you already know that dealing with anger in
these ways doesn’t feel good. But did you know that these behaviors aren’t
healthy? Acting out or holding in anger doesn’t solve anything. In fact, it often
makes the situation worse.
The good news is you can learn to express your anger without being violent
or hurtful. Whenever you’re mad at someone, take some time to calm down
before you react. Then follow these steps to help yourself get a grip:
- Get away from the person you’re angry with. Before you and the other
person can resolve the conflict, you have to gain control of yourself. Explain
that you need some time alone, and then find a quiet place to think. - Take some slow, deep breaths. Deep breathing will slow down your
racing heart and help you clear your mind. Count to twenty-five in your