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218 The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating
Is this a healthy sign? Yes! Rico knew his aunt and uncle would be dis-
appointed, but he presented his decision positively and trusted they would
understand his choice. He was forthright but sensitive to his aunt and uncle’s
feelings, so they could be more open to his.When you make an effort to be direct and honest with AFs in your life,
you’re taking these relationships to a new level. You’ll probably discover that
these people are a lot more helpful and interesting than you ever imagined they
were. You may even realize that they can be sources of advice, support, or under-
standing (see pages 168–169 to find out about mentors). And in the process of
getting to know them,you’re giving them the chance to get to know you.My girlfriend’s father embarrasses me
Hey Terra,
My girlfriend’s father is always embarrassing me. He’s an ex-wrestler and still lifts weights.
Whenever I go over there to pick up my girlfriend, he always wants to arm wrestle with me
or have a push-up contest or something. I hate doing it because I always lose, badly, but I’m
too chicken to say no. What should I do?WeaklingDear Weakling,This guy is physically intimidating, but it doesn’t seem as if he really wants to hurt you. His
behavior may be his way of trying to communicate with you or get to know you better. What
do you think would happen if the next time he challenged you to an arm wrestling match
you were to just smile and say, “No thanks”? I doubt he’d put you in a headlock! He’d prob-
ably kid you a bit and then back off. Then you could start a conversation with him about
something he’s interested in (besides wrestling!). This will help you relate to each other in a
new way—one that’s more comfortable for you. Chances are, you’ll get to know him better
and vice versa.