Conflict Resolution Tool Kit 237
you’re frowning or you’re rolling your eyes. The message you’re sending is that
you’re not really open to what the other person is saying. As you listen, really
listen.Make sure your facial expression conveys that you’re willing to hear the
other person’s side of the story; you can even nod your head to show that you’ve
heard and understood.
- Reflect back what you’ve heard. Put yourself in the place of the other person
and try to understand the feelings behind the words. Then use your own words
to “play back” what’s been said. For example, “What I hear you saying is that
you worry about me a lot when I’m out past my curfew.” Or “I’m hearing that
you like to borrow my stuff because you admire the things I own.” If you do
this, the other person will know you’ve really made an effort to hear his/her
point of view.
Some families only call family meetings when there’s a major issue to dis-
cuss. Other families like to hold meetings on a regular basis to “clear the air”
and give everyone a chance to speak their mind. And still other families are used
to talking during dinner every night, instead of during scheduled meetings. It
doesn’t really matter how your family gets together to talk—the important thing
is to communicate openly and share your feelings, listen to what other people
have to say, and work together to solve problems successfully.