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18 The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating
- Review your weaknesses. Identify the weaknesses you can live with for
now and think about the ones you want to work on. Don’t tackle everything at
once. Instead, choose one weakness and develop a plan of action. For example,
if you want to stop putting things off until the last minute, think of ways to get
more organized about deadlines. Maybe you can break down a long-term
assignment into several small steps. This way, you’ll be more likely to make
steady progress toward your main goal. When you successfully complete one
long-term assignment, you’ll feel more motivated to start the next one without
procrastinating. Soon, “I’m organized” might be one of your strengths!
I don’t think I’m good enough.
Hey Terra,
I’m just your average teen (maybe below average in looks). But all of the other average kids
seem to have a lot more fun than I do. I do okay in school, but there’s got to be more to life
than getting good grades.
It would be so cool to have a bunch of friends to hang out with or to have a girlfriend,
but I don’t think I’m good enough for any girl to want to go out with me. Whenever I get the
idea to call up someone, I stop myself because I’m sure no one would want to spend time
with me. So I end up just staying home because the last thing I want to hear is somebody
telling me they don’t want to be with me. Even though they’d probably make up some polite
excuse like, “Sorry, I’m busy,” I’d know what they really meant.
Why Bother?
Dear Why Bother,
It’s normal to feel insecure at times, especially when you’re going through a lot of changes
(like puberty). But it sounds like you spend too much time putting yourself down. If you’re
always thinking, “I’m not good enough” and “Nobody wants to be with me,” these put-
downs become a habit, and it becomes hard to enjoy social situations—or life in general. Once
you’re aware of any bad habit, you can start gaining control of it.