The Teen Survival Guide to Dating & Relating: Real-World Advice on Guys, Girls, Growing Up, and Getting Along

24 The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating

Dear Empty,

I’m so sorry to hear about your grandma. Even though you know she isn’t suffering anymore,

you still miss her, of course. She really cared about you, and you made her life brighter, too.

You gave each other something wonderful, and nothing can ever take that from you.

People deal with grief and loss in their own way and in their own time. Right now, you’re

feeling sad and lost and empty. This is normal, and so is feeling like you don’t want to talk to

anybody. But talk anyway, because it will help you feel better.

Who else in your family felt especially close to your grandma? Maybe you and that

person can comfort each other by sharing your feelings, talking about her, and remembering

the good times. If you can’t talk to anyone at home, get in touch with your school counselor

or another caring adult. If you lock your feelings inside, they’ll keep hurting more and more.

I would also encourage you to continue writing poetry, which is a wonderful way to

express yourself. Or write a letter to your grandma, saying all of the things you’re feeling; this

will make you feel closer to her. Keep this letter to yourself, if you want, or share it with some-

one else.

Because I believe that people who love us are always with us inside, I feel strongly that

your grandma is there for you in your heart. If you ever need her advice, just find a quiet place

and “talk” to her inside your head (you could even read your poems to her). Her love and

wisdom are still there for you and always will be. Take care.

In friendship,

Terra

HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR LOOKS

Many teens spend a lot of time agonizing about their looks. Are you one of them?

Maybe you love the way you look and wouldn’t change a thing. It’s great when

you feel that way. But maybe you think you’re not good-looking enough, muscu-

lar enough, tall enough, thin enough, “perfect” enough... Well, enough already!

If you constantly compare yourself to other people or to images in magazines,

movies, and on TV, you’ll probably feel inadequate. You need to know that “good-

looking” comes in all different sizes, shapes, and colors. Instead of reminding

yourself (and everyone else) about your so-called flaws, focus on your good

points. This is the first step to building a healthier relationship with your body.