The Teen Survival Guide to Dating & Relating: Real-World Advice on Guys, Girls, Growing Up, and Getting Along

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54 The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating

Dear Fearful,

Sometimes, the fear of rejection is a lot scarier than rejection itself. What you need is the help

of a trusted friend and a little time to practice saying the words you want to say, so you can

build up your confidence.

Pretend that your friend is the girl you love. This will probably make both of you laugh,

which will help loosen you up. Imagine lots of different ways to tell her how you feel. Be

creative and have fun! (This kind of exercise is called role-playing, and it’s a useful way to safely

practice real-life situations that are difficult for you. Actors use a similar technique to help them

get better at improvisation, a kind of spontaneous acting done without a script.)

Have your friend come up with a wide range of responses—everything from, “Get out of

my face,” to “I’ve been waiting for months to hear those words from you!” After you do this

exercise a few times, you’ll feel more confident about actually telling the girl how you feel.

I hope you get the reaction you’re looking for. Good luck!

In friendship,

Terra

How can I find out if she likes me?

Hey Terra,

I’ve had a crush on a girl for about two months, only I haven’t had the nerve to ask her out

yet. I wrote her three letters, but I still haven’t heard from her. What should I do to find out if

she likes me? How can I get her to go out with me?

Desperate

Dear Desperate,

Did you mail the three letters? If she got your letters and didn’t respond, that’s a sign that she’s

not interested in you romantically. If you still want to pursue her, I suggest you do something

really brave: call her up and ask her out on a date. What’s the worst that could happen?