60 The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating
- Keep brainstorming. Make the columns as long and as specific as you can,
until you finally run out of ideas. After a while, your lists might look like this: - Review your lists. Have you written all the strengths you can think of?
Have you been too hard on yourself in terms of your weaknesses? Adjust your
lists, if needed.
If you’ve completed both the “What Matters Most” and the “What I Have to
Offer” lists, you’ve raised your level of awareness about what you’re looking for
in a bf/gf and what you have to offer in a relationship. That’s a great start!
Defining what you’re looking for doesn’t guarantee that you’ll find a good
match right away, but it does take you one step closer. And being clear about
what you want and what you have to offer makes it much easier to envision a
future relationship, which in turn helps you make things happen.
Remember, it’s smart to stay open to opportunities that come your way. As
you get to know someone new, do a quick mental comparison with your list.
Do you see any possibilities for a match? When you’re aware of what you’re
looking for, you may suddenly meet lots of people who could be a good
boyfriend/girlfriend for you. Does this mean there’s some cosmic force at work?
Well, it’s more likely that you just have a more open mind. Maybe your lists
helped you see that looks are much less important than the way a person treats
you, for example. You might even start seeing people you already know in a
whole new light!
Keep your lists handy and review them often. Feel free to make changes,
too. Cross out or renumber items whenever you want and add new items as
they come to you. If you find someone who has some of the important quali-
ties on your list, get to know this person. But remember that no one’s perfect.
The best thing two people can do for each other is to acknowledge their
strengths and help each other work on their weaknesses. This is how people,
and relationships, grow.MY WEAKNESSES ARE...
-I’m sometimes disorganized
-I’m stubborn
-I can be too sensitive
-I get jealous
-I’m late a lotMY STRENGTHS ARE...
-I’m affectionate
-I’m cheerful
-I’m smart
-I give good advice
-I have good judgment