66 The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating
friends, parents, teachers, and other people in your life. But for now, we’re talk-
ing about boyfriends/girlfriends.)
What do healthy romantic relationships look like? Truthfully, they’re not
easy for outsiders to recognize. If you’re on the outside looking in, you could be
fooled by what you see. Some couples always act lovey-dovey around other
people, but they may not be so loving when they’re alone. Other couples are shy
and don’t reveal much about what’s going on in their relationship. And still
other couples, for whatever reason, act as if they don’t care about (or even like)
each other at all! This is why romantic relationships are such a mystery.
To find out if your relationship is healthy, be aware of how you and your
bf/gf treat each other. Is there honesty, respect, trust, and open communication?
Are these elements always there, or there most of the time, or never there at all?
How do you feel when you’re with your bf/gf? Happy? Proud? Safe? Or are you
nervous about saying or doing the “wrong” thing? Do you talk openly about
what’s on your mind, or do you keep lots of secrets from each other? Under-
standing what a healthy relationship is can help you “fix” yours when it heads
in an unhealthy direction.Honesty
Honesty is the freedom to be who you are, without pretending. It means you
speak from the heart and openly share your feelings and opinions. You’re in an
honest relationship when both of you can be “real” with each other when
you’re feeling happy or down, and whether you’re alone or with others. In such
a relationship, neither person wonders if the other is telling the truth, because
it’s alwaysthe truth.Joe has a girlfriend, but last weekend he met another
girl at the community center. The girl liked him right
away and offered to give him her phone number. Joe
liked her, too, but he told her that he already had a
girlfriend and didn’t take the phone number.Does Joe’s relationship have honesty? Yes. He was honest with the girl who
wanted to give him her phone number, and more important, he was true to his
girlfriend.