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Making Boyfriend /Girlfriend Relationships Work 75
In relationships that lack respect, one person may feel in control of the
other (and may even think that he/she has the “right” to put down, insult, or
embarrass the other person). A serious lack of respect in a relationship can
lead to verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse. For more information
about the warning signs of an abusive relationship, see pages 106–113. For
now, remember that you have every right to be treated with consideration. It’s
better to be single than to be in a relationship in which you’re not being
treated with respect.
My boyfriend calls me names
Hey Terra,
My boyfriend and I get along well, except when we’re around his friends. That’s the only time
he’s really rude to me, calling me names like “Chunk” and “Dumbo.” I’ve told him I don’t
appreciate it, and he says he’s just joking and that I’m too sensitive. Am I?
Not Laughing
Dear Not Laughing,
What your boyfriend is doing isn’t funny, so don’t accept his excuse that it’s only a “joke.”
Because he acts this way when his friends are around, he probably thinks his behavior makes
him look cooler in their eyes. All it really does is make him look like he doesn’t know how to
treat a girlfriend with respect!
Tell him that you won’t put up with his name-calling anymore (joke or no joke). To make
sure he gets the message this time, you might say, “If you can’t treat me with respect when
your friends are around, I don’t want to continue this relationship.” If things don’t improve,
keep your promise and break up with him. You’re better off without someone who brings you
down. I wish you well.
In friendship,
Terra