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80 The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating
But what if your jealousy isjustified? Suppose your boyfriend/girlfriend
really is flirting (or worse)? It’s time for open communication and for you to
make decisions about what you want and don’twant out of this relationship.
Read pages 229–237 in Chapter 9, “Conflict Resolution Tool Kit,” which can
help you find healthy ways to confront problems.My boyfriend gets mad if
I talk to other guys
Hey Terra,My boyfriend gets really jealous whenever I talk to another guy. I’ve never cheated on him or
anything. It’s just that I’m friendly, and I have lots of guy friends. I told my boyfriend he has
nothing to be jealous about, but he still questions me about everything. Like when he calls me
and the line is busy he’ll say, “Who were you just talking to?” I don’t like the way he’s acting,
but I don’t know what to do. My friends say I should be happy because his behavior shows
he loves me a lot. I’m not so sure. What do you think?Joe’s GirlDear Joe’s Girl,
You have every right to talk to other people, male or female, face-to-face or on the phone.
Only an insecure boyfriend would feel threatened by his girlfriend’s guy friends. You aren’t his
property! You’re a free and independent young woman.
Tell your boyfriend how you feel when he acts jealous. Your words can help him understand
that his behavior creates distance, not closeness. He needs to trust you in the same way that you
need to trust him. Ask him to stop questioning you about conversations you have with others.
When you talk, give him a chance to express his concerns and feelings. A relationship without
trust and open communication doesn’t have much of a future. I wish you both the best.In friendship,
Terra