Making Boyfriend /Girlfriend Relationships Work 85
From nearby to long distance
Suppose you and your boyfriend/girlfriend attend the same school. You even
share many of the same classes. On weekends, it’s no problem seeing each other
because you live relatively close by. Now suppose that one of you moves away.
What happens? The relationship is in for some definite changes.
If your bf/gf no longer lives near enough for you to see each other even once
a month without serious planning, it doesn’t matter whether the distance is 100
miles or 1,000 miles. This kind of relationship is difficult! Separation from
someone you love can be emotionally—and even physically—painful.
Many teens write to ask me if a long-distance relationship can last. To be
honest, the odds aren’t great. You and your boyfriend/girlfriend are changing so
much from day to day, and if you aren’t around each other often, it’s only natu-
ral to drift apart. This doesn’t mean it’s impossiblefor your relationship to last,
but the physical distance between you makes staying together more difficult.
The best way to handle the separation (and the sadness and longing that
comes with it) is to stay close in other ways. You can keep up with each other’s
lives by communicating often. Email makes this easy, but you can also make
phone calls, write letters, and exchange photos, audiotapes, poetry, and art.
Being creative with how you keep in touch will help you feel emotionally closer
to the person, even if he/she is physically very far away.
When you’re separated from your boyfriend/girlfriend, it’s important to stay
involved in your own activities. Being “a million miles away” in your head and
your heart is a challenge, but daydreaming endlessly won’t help. If you put your
life on hold until you’re with the one you love, your relationships with your
friends and family will suffer. You have to be where you are, or you’re nowhere
at all. Use your “single” time to focus on activities, school, hobbies, friends, or
whatever your interests are. Enjoy life!