you. Never ask others for counsel in adversity without your husband’s
permission, as this is an act of sedition! It will erode his trust in you as his
prime minister, and will open a door for your replacement. He needs you
to admire his leadership.When he makes right decisions that reflect truth and good deed, and is
slow to anger without seeking revenge against a fault; when he does not
imbibe in gossip; when he rejects evil company; when he seeks wisdom
from the wise and honors Allah; when he keeps his promises and refuses
bribes or profit at the expense of his neighbor’s misfortune, you must
praise and honor him for any and all of these victories. This is your duty
of enjoining what is good and the example you set will guide your
children to taqua!
He also needs praise for his Godly leadership to the community. When he
shows signs of wisdom, generosity, spiritual discernment, modesty,
sobriety, the example of hard work, patience, peacemaking, good
management, maturity, and fidelity; let him hear you speak of these good
deeds to others. Encourage him when he battles (is tempted) with any
challenge to his leadership in these virtues, and ask him from time to time
to share with you his deepest goals and concerns.
Be patient with his vision, especially when he is under pressure or
depressed by the discouragement of life’s trials. Men are macro-visionary
and women are micro-visionary. A man’s vision is often filled with long-
range goals that require much time and struggle, but a woman’s vision is
usually oriented towards short term projects with more immediate
satisfaction. Men see national and world problems with clarity, while
women see familial and community problems with clarity. Men see the
long road to Mecca and beyond, but women see the path to Zam-Zam’s
well for the benefit of the proximal community. Women see obstacles
along the immediate path, men perceive obstacles on the horizon; both
perspectives are complementary and necessary for success.
Express enthusiasm for his work and achievements. If you reject his work
or its fruit, your rejection, in his eyes, may be more insulting than a
refusal of sexual favor. This is because you reject what he perceives to be
his God-given purpose in life. The chief desire of a man’s heart is not the