- male does not equal female;
- the differentiated attributes of men and women;
- recognize the need for both sets of attributes as equally applicable to human
affairs and welfare; - apply both male and female attributes appropriately in judgments and deeds for
the community‘s benefit.
While a man is one-sidedly goal-oriented and immediately seeks to deposit
his sperm, this is not so for the woman. Her resistance is a natural restraint
that guides her husband to responsible social etiquette. A virtuous wife
requires the genteel ‘persuasion’ of which our Prophet spoke. Communication
is her foreplay; gentlemanly conduct is her aphrodisiac; a comfortable secure
nest is her couch of bliss, and slow, knowledgeable hands with manly
endurance are her path to satisfaction. She is a God-given challenge to
improve and maintain a man’s manners and discipline as a gentleman.
The responsible Muslim will learn the etiquette of proper marital relations in
the same manner he studies the etiquette of solat and social proprieties. To
ignore these requirements is like ignoring the formalities of solat or protocols
for entering a royal court. Otherwise he remains a hypocritical dolt of the
highest order, for the careless chauvinist has forgotten that marriage is the
mosque in which half the deen of Islam honors Allah, and that he, the
husband, is the imam of that masjid and is therefore held accountable!
Another aspect of the wife’s call to her mate is conversation in which her
interests may seem innocuous to many a husband. However, feminine
cognition and social interaction skills are those which strive to maintain
communal harmony. A woman’s keen ability for close observation (literally a
wider visual field) and her extraordinary dexterity with communication and
language skills (most diplomatic translators are women), are directed at
perceiving and transmitting details that concern immediate human need and
intent. She does this subconsciously, fluidly and automatically as an
instinctive drive to seek out matters pertaining to those close to her in order
to maintain social harmony. This is accomplished in order to secure a stable
environment as a guarantee for her own safety—just in case her husband
doesn‘t come back from the hunt or battle. Sorry ladies, you probably
thought you were being selfless but this is not so. This instinctive behavior is