for the sake of self-preservation and is a woman‘s normally natural state, one
that is barely above the realm of instinctive animal behavior. In order for
women to achieve taqua they must learn to mind their own business and give
of what Allah has blessed them with to those who have neither reason nor
means for reciprocity.
Women often bore their husbands with non-essentials because they
constantly push their noses beyond the bounds and easily get lost in their
neighbor‘s private affairs. They meander through life ever searching for the
most pressing need or anxiety ridden relationship with the same acuity of
perception that allows them to shop and find a bargain or edible berries,
roughage and roots in the field. Their attention is pressed close to the ground
when exploring new developments, friends and neighbors. All the while they
are subconsciously seeking the advantage and safety of close warm feelings of
intimacy and mutual support. Nevertheless, at the same time they become
acutely aware of any signs of danger from the slightest social opposition that
might negatively affect her and her family, which is to the husband’s
advantage.
For these reasons, Islam requires them to obey their husbands who must set
boundaries for these ruminations and for everyone‘s benefit. Within these
limits she may meander to her heart‘s content and report all she finds to him
like a telecom pack-rat. The wise husband will set the bounds and take the
time to listen when she reports her discoveries. For her this is a necessary act
of marital intimacy and trust, as if she were giving intelligence reports to the
chief of security. Every investigator knows he must sift through hundreds of
details before he finds something of import, and a man‘s wife is expert at
gathering evidence. I‘ve no doubt the Prophet gathered a vast amount of
significant social data via the enhanced surveillance capacities of his several
wives and that this helped his decision making. I expect Gibril stepped in
only when they missed something significant.
Should a man reject his wife‘s desire for these communications, it is as if the
Internal Security Chief refused to talk with his chief investigator! She feels
not only rejected and emotionally estranged, but useless and disaffected as
well. Hence, under these circumstances, she is certainly not inclined to
respond to his call for the intimacies of sexual union, especially if her rejected
report held substantial matters regarding the family. In rejecting her