we are wrong. Needless to say, when you
know you are wrong, accommodating is the
appropriate choice.
When to Avoid.Conflict should be avoid-
ed when there is no chance of satisfying your
concerns or when the potential damage (to
the relationship or to you) of confronting the
conflict outweighs the benefits of resolution.
Avoiding can be a useful temporizing strate-
gy to let people, including you, calm down. It
may be appropriate to avoid a conflict until
more information can be gathered, either to
clarify whether or not a conflict exists or to
work toward a collaborative solution.
Sometimes it is appropriate to choose avoid-
ing when others can resolve the conflict more
effectively. This is often true when you are a
member of a team, particularly if you are a
junior member, engaged in a conflict with a
powerful external entity.
When to Collaborate. Identifying a
“win/win” solution usually requires time
and effort but yields tremendous dividends.
Not only do you satisfy your own concerns,
you create or enhance a positive relationship
with the other party. Collaborating can allow
you to test your own assumptions and often
results in significant learning on all sides.
This method of resolving conflict allows you
to merge insights and experience to find an
integrative solution. The process also allows
both parties to gain commitment to the solu-
tion. This approach may be used to protect or
enhance important relationships; it also may
be used to work through hard feelings in the
case of previous competitive, uncooperative
or even hostile dealings. This approach toresolving conflict, when successful, is by far
the most rewarding. However, it does require
that you truly value and are willing to pursue
the interests of the other party, and that you
forego an easy win or a quick compromise.
When to Compromise.While less satisfy-
ing than collaborating, compromising is usu-
ally quicker and easier. This approach may
be used to find expedient solutions under
time pressure or to achieve temporary settle-
ments for complex issues. It may be an
appropriate choice when the goals are mod-
erately important: too important to avoid
or accommodate, but insufficiently impor-
tant to merit a collaborative effort.
Compromising may be the only option when
two opponents with equal power are strong-
ly committed to mutually exclusive goals. It
may also be the fallback strategy when com-
petition or collaboration fails.
When faced with a conflict, the challenge
is to consider, as dispassionately as we can,
which approach is appropriate given the
nature and importance of the conflict, the
nature and importance of our relationship
with the other party and the time available
for resolution. If we can control our emotion-
al reaction, we can think through the conse-
quences of various choices. If we are aware
of our default preference, we can monitor
ourselves to make sure we make the best
choice, not necessarily the one that comes
most easily for us. Conflict management is
an important professional skill, one that will
also serve us well in our personal relation-
ships. Like all skills, it can be learned and it
improves with practice. ■118 CAREER ADVICE FOR LIFE SCIENTISTS II