SUBTEXT"I've got problems you can't begin to comprehend," the frustrated
executive tells the union representative.
"You've got problems? You try a stint on the line, and you'll
learn what problems really are!" the union rep shoots back.
"I can't do it," the receptionist tells the lawyer who has just
brought out a pile of briefs for filing. "You don't understand the
mess I have out here."
"You don't understand." "You don't know what it's like." "You
can't begin to comprehend!" The obvious messages behind all
these statements are frustration, anger, complaint. The not-so-
obvious subtext is the speaker's perception of a lack of empathy
in the person he or she is dealing with.
Simply stated, empathy is the ability to understand someone
else's feelings and problems. Empathy is a means for projecting
a very necessary subtext of understanding, sensitivity, and concern.
Is empathy something we either have or don't have? Can we
learn it? If we have some degree of empathy, is there any way to
increase it?
Some of us seem to be born with a natural sense of empathy.
We constantly hear of children who empathize with a parent's
grief, who understand each other's hurts and pains. Little Johnny
will cry when his friend Max hurts his finger. Sara will burst
into tears when Emma's doll is broken. In fact, many studies
conclude that all children have a natural sense of empathy, which
decreases by some degree as they grow up.
But even in those of us in whom empathy seems lost, a residue
remains, and it is possible to develop that latent empathy and
discover how to use it as a coping tool.
The "Method" school of acting gives us a clue to how this can
be done. The Method is, essentially, based on the learning and
development of empathy. To play a part, the actor must learn